8 Don’ts on Winning People’s Heart in Conversations

When meeting a new person, you are most likely going to engage in a conversation to know him or her better. It is not at all simple to become an exciting conversation partner. On the other hand, you can become one if you know the tricks.

1. Don’t be artificial
Showing affectation with polished, pretentious words just to make a excellent first impression on your new acquaintance will not do. You will be judged as artificial. It is better to use everyday words but in an acceptable manner. Speaking with your natural tone and gesture will make the person you are talking to feel comfortable.

2. Don’t talk about details
Instead of speaking or asking about detailed things or information to your conversation partner, you should talk about more general topics. You won’t feel comfortable if you are cornered to answer personal question to a new person and vice versa.

3. Don’t use logical speech all the time
Speaking about logic might make you look smart, but it also tends to be dull. People prefer listening to prejudice, opinion, and beliefs when engaging in a casual conversation.

4. Don’t butt in
Nobody likes to be interrupted. Wait until your conversation partner finishes his or her line before you speak your mind. This will show that you really respect the person you are talking to which can lead to a better relationship.

5. Don’t dominate the conversation
Question about your partner’s interest so you can discuss the topic mutually. A two-way conversation is much better than a monologue. Domination is as terrible as interruption, hence you should listen as much as you speak.

6. Don’t offend
Offending can be done in many ways, and it can be reflected in our speech. To avoid offending people you barely know, stick to the rule of talking only general topics. Avoid talking about religion, ethnicity, or anything that might trigger a clash.

7. Don’t be cocky
Boldness and overconfidence won’t interest your conversation partner. Instead, show some qualities such as helpfulness, candor, friendliness, and sincerity. You should also show a fantastic deal of interest in the person you are talking to as well as the subject you are talking about.

8. Don’t talk to one person only when you are in group
Don’t pay attention to only one particular person of the group. Share equal interest to all the group members so that they don’t feel any awkwardness. Choose only topics that can be covered by all the members of the group.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6404054

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Develop Your Social Skills

Do you know anyone who never meets a weirder? What I mean by that is have you ever meet a person who if left in a room full of strangers will have befriended them all before leaving the room? That type of individual is called a people person. That person is charismatic and very friendly.

When a person has the tendency of attracting people without trying, it’s just second nature. They are what you call a socially empowered person who often times achieve fantastic success. Socially empowered people are surrounded by the kind of persons that push them to their level of success. They is always someone willing to lend them a helping hand.

In order to be successful a person must develop their social skills and make positive use of them. It is one thing to be a people person, but it’s another to be a people person who makes use of their skills.

1. Be confident

Introduce yourself to others with a nice smile. If perhaps you feel a sense of dread, face your dread and do it. It’s really not as terrible as you reckon. Hold your head up and tell yourself you can do this. Remember to remain confident. Don’t let see you sweat.

2. A flourishing personality

You are not allowed to be mean, grouchy or sullen. If this is you stop it now. This type of behavior stunts a person’s growth. No one wants to be around this type of individual. Right change starts from inside out. Start to reckon on things that are lovely, pure and just.

3. Nourish your relationships

It’s not enough to have fantastic social skills, you must also walk in like. That like is demonstrated first with those close to you, like family and friends. Always cherish those that are in your corner. Spend quality time with and delight in their presence. And be there for them whenever possible.

4. Self control

Be a person people feel comfortable approaching. Be mindful of the way you handle issues. Just because things don’t go your way doesn’t mean you have to snap on everyone and become explosive. People delight in the presence of cool mannered individuals. Therefore, learn to make the best of every situation no matter how terrible it may seem.

5. Self assessment

Do an evaluation of yourself. Who knows you better than you? Make a list of all the things you find that need improving and work on them. Work towards making you a better you. We all can use some improvement.

6. The Excellent Samaritan

Come on you know the tale, how a Samaritan showed acts of kindness and compassion to a Jewish man who had been attacked by bandits and stripped of everything. We too should walk in this kind of like showing kindness and mercy to those in need. Hold the door open for someone whose hands are full, volunteer in your community, encourage a child. These acts of kindness can work miracles for you and the person.

7. Listen

Trust is earned not given. In order for others to trust you they must know you care. Listen to their problems. It is one thing to hear what is being said, but it’s another to listen to what is being said. Be concerned about what’s being said. And what someone tells you in secret let it be between you and them. This is what builds trust.

8. Be a person of integrity

Do not be a hypocrite. Be genuine in your approach, conversation and interest. Do not approach others out of selfish motives. People can perceive when you have hidden agendas.

About Author:

With a BS in as well as an Associate’s Degree in Divinity, LaWanda is a public speaker and life coach that helps people find a better balance in their life and coaches them in how to clear their own personal path to prosperity. Also a certified Belief Therapist, LaWanda uses her education and life experiences to help adults cope with life’s often overwhelming circumstances.

Teaching simple but effective personal development strategies, her coaching programs focus on relationships, health [both physical and mental], finances, time management, stress, self esteem and overall life balance.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6406442

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3 Ways to Communicate More Persuasively

There are many areas to look at in communication, as we’ve read in many books: a message is communicated through visual, vocal and verbal. From that, comes the importance of body language, how we present ourselves, and so on. The visual and vocal elements are indeed very vital to effective communication, but we will not touch on that in this article

Rather, here are 3 tips to help you communicate more effectively from the verbal aspect:

1. Don’t be Too Self-Conscious

When I was a magazine editor, I was invited to many red carpet events and cocktails where I had to rub shoulders with the rich and well-known. Initially I dreaded those events, because I was not comfortable at making small talk with these people.

Then a fantastic truth dawned on me – to be a excellent conversationalist, we simply had to be a fantastic listener. We had to be genuinely interested in what the other person had to say, question the right questions (because we genuinely wanted to know more) and presto, people will laud us as fantastic communicators!

It’s often our own self-consciousness that makes us tongue-tied and awkward. We are so pre-occupied with what intelligent thought to share next, that we can barely concentrate on listening to and understanding the other party.

2. Empathize with Others

The other block to excellent communication is non-empathy. We are sometimes so intent on putting our thoughts across that we forget to be sensitive or empathetic to the other person. Is the person in a rush, or does he or she have other matters on his or her mind?

A excellent example is when we want to sell an thought to our boss: is he or she rushing for another meeting? Or perhaps he or she has just got some flak from his or her boss or a customer and is simply in a lousy mood.

My personality type tends towards being results-oriented, so this was an area that I was weak in. Now I’ve learnt to be more sensitive and to always question: Is it a excellent time to talk? Or: Do you have half an hour to discuss…?

3. Have Clarity

This comes from lack of clarity in our thoughts as well as our verbal communication. It starts from our thoughts: are we quite clear in our minds what is the message we wish to convey? From there, we go on to effective choice of words. Some people may have a language problem: they may be thinking in their mother language, say Mandarin, and trying to express their thoughts in a language they are not comfortable with, say English.

Learn to organize your thoughts. Before making an vital presentation, list down the points you want to make in a logical sense. If language is a challenge, then I suggest you write your thoughts down in proper sentences and question a friend to go through for you. I’m not saying you should read from your paper or memorise the “speech” but just writing it down and reading it a few times will help you a fantastic deal in putting your message across.

Many people thought as long as they speak fluently, they are excellent communicators. Not so, as those of you who have had to listen to someone go on and on about themselves, will testify. They may be such eloquent speakers, and even entertaining at times, but there’s only so much we can take in a one-way communication. I’m sure some of you have been in a situation where you just wish you were somewhere else after 20 minutes!

The highest level of communication which I personally would strive for as a communicator is what is known as persuasive communication. This takes place when the person we are communicating with, 1) understands what we want to say, 2) feels what we are feeling and is then 3) motivated to take action on what we have said. Effective communication may stop small at (2); the listener may not necessarily want to do something about what he or she has just heard.

One skill that can help you go from effective to persuasive communication is that of asking questions. This is a powerful skill that once you have mastered it, will indeed help you see immediate results in your daily communication – be it sales, presentation of thoughts, talking to your friends or simply getting your child to do what you want! Watch out for my article on the of Asking Questions.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6406559

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The Power of Persuasive

“Persuasion is the art of guiding one’s mind through a field of ignorance, misinformation, or misunderstanding to a destination where there is enough information and understanding to make a logical choice to do what is in the best interest of the person being persuaded.” – Steven Scott

Undeniably, communication skills are the first skill set we must include in our arsenal of skills to take with us on our journey to success. And to me, the best communications tool box can be found in Neuro-Linguistic or NLP for small.

NLP is a communication model developed by the founders Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the late 1960s and early 70s. In simplified terms, NLP is essentially a model of learning which can be used to model human thinking, behaviour and communication.

Today, NLP has proven to be phenomenally successful in many applications: training and personal development; coaching; business; sales; parenting. As Anthony Robbins, reputed to be the world’s highest paid coach said, “I built my sales career from zero to become the world’s best motivator by using NLP.” I use NLP in my coaching, training and in every aspect of daily life.

Let’s start by exploring a basic presupposition found in NLP: “The response you get is the meaning of your communication.” We all know that the message we want to communicate to someone may not necessarily be received with the exact intended meaning. Along the way, many things can happen – the meaning may be distorted, certain parts may be deleted or the message itself has been generalized. The challenge is: how do we know if our message has been accurately understood?

Besides that, there is another presupposition at play: We all respond to our map of reality, not reality itself. That means that every individual has within them an internal world of meaning – a unique internal map that they use for navigating the world. So, for example, when you tell your partner that you feel like for him/her, what does that mean in his/her world as opposed to the meaning you attach to the feeling of like? If he/she associates pain and sacrifice with “like” feeling, then you are not going to get very positive response from him/her! (I’m sure all of you who have read/heard about or experienced “commitment phobia” before will know what I mean!)

With these presuppositions in mind, we can then choose which tool to use from the NLP tool-box to firstly build rapport with the person we want to communicate our message to; then to assess what his map looks like; which tool to use to communicate effectively to that person based on his map; and so on. Now that’s only for effective communication.

To communicate persuasively, we then have to go that person to take action. Now for that to happen, again, there are various tools we can use based on different circumstances – as the saying goes, different strokes for different folks!

It’s really such fun and nearly magical when one becomes adept at using all the wonderful tools available. You wish to convince your boss to give you a well-deserved pay rise, no problem? Dread talking to that irate customer who looks ready to burst a blood vessel? No problem, you can cool him down and even turn him into the most loyal customer. Wondering how to convince your child to sit still and study for next week’s examinations? You’ll be amazed at how you can do that by communicating persuasively.

But, let me hastily add that NLP as a communication model is just one aspect. There is much more to NLP. Modern once called it the “most powerful vehicle for change”. Change for ourselves. As Rudolf Dreikurs, author or A Parent’s Guide to Child Discipline, said, “We can change our whole life and the attitude of people around us simply by changing ourselves.” But that is the premise of another article, or just get a book on NLP and you can get lots of information on the subject.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6406582

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