You have been beat up by the dating scene. I remember one time I was in a crowded dance club and the music was so loud I could not make myself heard easily and I reached out and touched a girl's hand to ask her if she would like to dance. She jerked back with an expression of revulsion on her face like something had reached a pseudopod out of a lab experiment and touched her with its slimy end. This was not the person I wanted to ask anything but it kind of hurt nonetheless.
I decided I don't like those places - at least if I don't go there with a date already.
I tried meeting women at the store. I didn't know what to say when I got past hello. Besides, they looked a little nervous having a stranger coming up talking to them. It didn't work for me then. I had a discovery yet to make that changed the game.
What was that discovery?
I was wearing my defeat. I looked like someone that had been turned down a lot of times by the way I looked all hopeful at women I wanted to ask out. The puppy dog eyes really work best for puppy dogs I discovered. You may be different, but for those of you that found that not working, let me let you in on a little secret.
The way you see yourself is the way others will see you. Are you someone who has been turned down too many times or are you a diamond in the rough that has been passed over by many who had no idea what they were missing? Do you see the difference?
When we have been beaten up by the dating scene, it is usually because we got beaten up by a relationship that left us alone. I don't know how long that has been for you, but if it was recently, there is a chance you can get back with your ex if you learn how to make up with her.
If not and either way, for your own sake, forgive. Set aside the anger and leave it there. The anger binds you to the hurt. Let it go and you can then find the strength to be an attractive prospect for another.
Now...about those ways...
The first way, and these are not in any order of priority, is to get out and do something YOU want to do. Did you know women are asking the same questions about meeting people like you as you are about meeting them? If you want a compatible date, you need to find someone with similar interests to yours. You will find them when you do what you like to do and find women there that like doing the same thing. This at least gives you something to talk about. Staring at her girly parts and stammering hasn't really worked so far, has it? Girls are curious. Let them come to you. Just be kind and gently humorous (go easy on the "did you hear the one about....).
The second way to find a compatible date is to quit trying so hard. Take stock in yourself and see what you really have for strengths and see if you know your weaknesses. Ask true friends and see if they will be open and honest with you about things you can work on in your life. These don't all have to be faults. You can focus on your strengths and make them more remarkable. This goes back to the way you see yourself telling others how to see you. If you are confident in yourself, others will develop confidence in you. You may have heard people say they found their ONE when they quit looking and least expected it. Keep your eyes open and don't close others out, but just find a comfortable place in yourself and your surroundings. They will come to you.
The third way to find a compatible date may be to start going to church. There you can find much peace and joy in the message, learn to better yourself as in way number two, and you will find something other than meat market women. People in church are people just like you, and like you they have their own foibles and failures. You won't find perfect people there any more than you will anywhere else, but you will find more that are trying to do better for themselves. Don't let people who fail to live up to what they profess to be cause you to sour on the experience, either. We all fail when we aspire to more. Let them also fail, but be your best and help others where and when you can. Don't go woman hunting there. Let them come to you.
A fourth way is to find a cause to join. There is much good that can be done and if you help build with Habitat for Humanity or give time to cancer kids, you do good for your own heart and will meet others with healing hearts. Don't go there and try to pick someone up quickly. Establish yourself and don't pay attention to the girls for a while. Women are very curious and they will come to you. When they do, have conversations. Be the man they want close to them because you can talk to them about something other than going out.
The fifth way to find a compatible date is to do random acts of kindness. You have probably heard, "nice guys finish last." Actually, look it up, that is a phrase from baseball that was taken out of context. The announcer was talking about a baseball team that he thought was going to finish last. They were nice guys, but they were going to finish last. This was not because they were nice guys. You can be nice and be assertive and strong. You don't have to be docile. You can be an alpha and be kind. Kindness is not weakness. A lot of women want a man who is a man and is not so insecure in his manhood that he has to ape out and beat his chest. Be a good man and they will find you.
Dating and relationships can be difficult to navigate. You can learn more about the magic of making up at http://babycomehome.net/, where strategies are laid out to help you keep together with your mate and get your mate back when you drift apart.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6399591
I tried meeting women at the store. I didn't know what to say when I got past hello. Besides, they looked a little nervous having a stranger coming up talking to them. It didn't work for me then. I had a discovery yet to make that changed the game.
What was that discovery?
I was wearing my defeat. I looked like someone that had been turned down a lot of times by the way I looked all hopeful at women I wanted to ask out. The puppy dog eyes really work best for puppy dogs I discovered. You may be different, but for those of you that found that not working, let me let you in on a little secret.
The way you see yourself is the way others will see you. Are you someone who has been turned down too many times or are you a diamond in the rough that has been passed over by many who had no idea what they were missing? Do you see the difference?
When we have been beaten up by the dating scene, it is usually because we got beaten up by a relationship that left us alone. I don't know how long that has been for you, but if it was recently, there is a chance you can get back with your ex if you learn how to make up with her.
If not and either way, for your own sake, forgive. Set aside the anger and leave it there. The anger binds you to the hurt. Let it go and you can then find the strength to be an attractive prospect for another.
Now...about those ways...
The first way, and these are not in any order of priority, is to get out and do something YOU want to do. Did you know women are asking the same questions about meeting people like you as you are about meeting them? If you want a compatible date, you need to find someone with similar interests to yours. You will find them when you do what you like to do and find women there that like doing the same thing. This at least gives you something to talk about. Staring at her girly parts and stammering hasn't really worked so far, has it? Girls are curious. Let them come to you. Just be kind and gently humorous (go easy on the "did you hear the one about....).
The second way to find a compatible date is to quit trying so hard. Take stock in yourself and see what you really have for strengths and see if you know your weaknesses. Ask true friends and see if they will be open and honest with you about things you can work on in your life. These don't all have to be faults. You can focus on your strengths and make them more remarkable. This goes back to the way you see yourself telling others how to see you. If you are confident in yourself, others will develop confidence in you. You may have heard people say they found their ONE when they quit looking and least expected it. Keep your eyes open and don't close others out, but just find a comfortable place in yourself and your surroundings. They will come to you.
The third way to find a compatible date may be to start going to church. There you can find much peace and joy in the message, learn to better yourself as in way number two, and you will find something other than meat market women. People in church are people just like you, and like you they have their own foibles and failures. You won't find perfect people there any more than you will anywhere else, but you will find more that are trying to do better for themselves. Don't let people who fail to live up to what they profess to be cause you to sour on the experience, either. We all fail when we aspire to more. Let them also fail, but be your best and help others where and when you can. Don't go woman hunting there. Let them come to you.
A fourth way is to find a cause to join. There is much good that can be done and if you help build with Habitat for Humanity or give time to cancer kids, you do good for your own heart and will meet others with healing hearts. Don't go there and try to pick someone up quickly. Establish yourself and don't pay attention to the girls for a while. Women are very curious and they will come to you. When they do, have conversations. Be the man they want close to them because you can talk to them about something other than going out.
The fifth way to find a compatible date is to do random acts of kindness. You have probably heard, "nice guys finish last." Actually, look it up, that is a phrase from baseball that was taken out of context. The announcer was talking about a baseball team that he thought was going to finish last. They were nice guys, but they were going to finish last. This was not because they were nice guys. You can be nice and be assertive and strong. You don't have to be docile. You can be an alpha and be kind. Kindness is not weakness. A lot of women want a man who is a man and is not so insecure in his manhood that he has to ape out and beat his chest. Be a good man and they will find you.
Dating and relationships can be difficult to navigate. You can learn more about the magic of making up at http://babycomehome.net/, where strategies are laid out to help you keep together with your mate and get your mate back when you drift apart.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6399591
