Part II of Mary’s Battle Against Pornography: A Right Tale on Overcoming Emotional Strongholds

“To defeat spiritual darkness surrounding us, we must first win the battle within.”

“So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature…. The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity…fits of rage… But the fruit of the spirit is like, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…” Gal. 5:16-20
Mary was feeling fantastic about life! Her marriage was thriving. It had taken years of faith and perseverance to have finally arrived in this place! She and Rick had fought, and by God’s grace, had overcome numerous struggles. Now, they were closer than ever before. The two had just surrendered their lives completely to the Lord. God was pointing the way to their future as an apartment ministry team.

During her quite time each morning, Mary recorded her thoughts as prayers to Jesus, specifically thanking Him for breaking the pornography stronghold that once tried to suffocate their right intimacy. Everything was fantastic in her life! She was super excited about serving God alongside her husband. The house was on the market, and God had made the plot crystal clear. Now all she could do was wait.

As she prayed each morning, her impatience grew. The house wasn’t selling, but the ministry position remained opened for them. What was the hold up? God’s answer to Mary’s question was direct, immediate, and it startled her. The revelation… Mary was still in bondage!

The happiness in Mary’s life was no match for the full peace and joy God yearned to give her. Truth be told, she was an emotional roller coaster. If everything was fantastic in life, so was her mood! Her attitude was tied to her circumstances; her emotions were contingent on Rick’s choices. The moment things seemed a small off course, Mary allowed ancient feelings of betrayal to bubble to the forefront of her mind. Her emotions could easily get the best of her.

Mary had no thought that her insecurities more than doubled the huge load of pressure Rick carried as leader of the family. Sometimes he wondered if Mary’s like for him was pure. Was it conditional? Mary, on the other hand, was unaware her emotions could do so much hurt. She had no thought she expected Rick to satisfy her deep longings for real security, joy, and all the excellent things only God can give.

Could it be right? Was she really in bondage? She was about to find out. Mary finished her prayer time and chose to clean house. She knew Rick would like coming home to a fresh environment. She started with the office. As she dusted the computer, curiosity got the best of her. She thought, “I’ll just review the website history once; if everything is clear, I’ll have reason to celebrate!”

Rather than rejoice, Mary fell to her knees in tears! Rick had stumbled a few times over the past couple years. She thought to herself, “Of course this could have been prevented had I held up my end of the agreement to keep the computer locked, but ultimately this was his mistake. How could he be so weak?”

Mary allowed her emotions to swallow her; her entire demeanor changed. There was still much to celebrate, but Mary chose to let herself sink into a sea of negativity. She started to doubt God’s call on their lives. Could God still use them? Then, it hit her. For the first time in her life she realized she was living as a slave…to her emotions! She was in bondage! She tried to pull herself together; she reapplied her makeup, and prayed for help.

After what seemed like forever, Rick excitedly stepped into the door announcing he’d be taking the entire family out for a surprise! His voice dropped as his eyes noticed Mary; he could tell something was incorrect. “Rick”, Mary said gently, “I’ll be okay; we can talk later.” She whispered to God, “help me walk in like and forgiveness tonight.”

The storm raged within Mary, but this time was different. Instead of running to Rick to sob, moan, or explode, she quietly stepped into the bathroom and prayed. “Dear Jesus, Rick and I have some very special plans today. The kids are excited. I need to know you are near. Will you please show up in my day? I know you are God and can do anything. Please don’t scare me, but please show up in way that I know is really You. I need to know that you are with me, that you like me, and that you know my hurt. Please also pour your grace over our marriage.”

She exited the bathroom and remained cool as she dressed the children. Dad was taking them somewhere special, and they were filled with excitement! But the hurt was still there. She tried to prevent the tears but they came despite her efforts. Rather than running to Rick (she knew it was hard for him to see her weep) she stepped into the laundry room. Shutting the door behind her, Mary prayed again, “God, here come the tears. Help me hold them back; please, give me peace. I need to know you are right here with me.”

Immediately, her eyes caught a recent buy she’d laid on the dryer. It was a book, Come Away, My Beloved, by Frances J. Roberts. Without thinking, she opened the book. It was incredible how God chose to speak directly to her heart in that instant. The words her eyes absorbed were simple and direct…enveloped in perfect peace. The text simply said…”…never forget that I am there; I am with you.” The peace and the answer came so quickly! She was content knowing God answered her prayer; Mary was ready to face the day, but God wasn’t finished!

The drive was silent. The kids looked out the windows with excitement as they wondered about their destination. Mary sat with an unexplainable peace, pondering this whole thought of emotional bondage. She was grateful God helped her pull it together and she knew He was near, but what about Rick? Had he sought forgiveness? Was God finished with him? Could they still be used to serve Him?

Rick ‘s sudden choice to turn into a convenient store parking lot interrupted her thoughts. Rick jumped out of the car, when seemingly out of nowhere, acting as if Rick had made arrangements to meet him there, a cleancut gentlemen riding a bicycle appeared. He propped his bike next to the truck near the passenger side close to Mary and quickly walked into the store alongside Rick. Upon exiting the store, Mary noticed the gentlemen carrying a bottle of water and a sandwich. Her eyes followed him; he seemed so pleasant.

As Rick hurriedly entered the truck and placed it in drive, Mary turned to see the man’s face once more. He was looking directly into her eyes and he smiled. Tears came to her eyes, and this time the kids did notice. One of them questioned, “mom, you are crying pleased tears, aren’t you?” “Of course, I am,” Mary responded, “Jesus just showed up in our day!” Mary proceeded, “Rick, will you please tell me what the man said before you forget? I want to know every word!” Rick looked at Mary as if she’d lost her mind until he uttered the words the man had spoken. He had simply said three things. “I just got a job but haven’t received a paycheck. I am hungry; will you get me something to eat. I am thirsty. Will you get me something to drink.”

Rick and Mary stopped speechless in that moment as they both pondered Jesus’ words,
“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink…” Mt. 25:35
God confirmed to both their hearts in that instant that He loved them, He was still with them, and His invitation to serve was still open despite their weaknesses.
Jesus said, “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…” 2 Co.12:8

© 2011 Dani Miser, author of Single Woman Seeks Perfect Man-Facing the Consequences of Unhealthy Relationships (Deep River Books, 2010)

Dani Miser is an author and speaker whose book, articles, and ministries exist to encourage others to live God honoring lives, especially in the arena of relationships. You can view Dani’s biography, book, and event information at her blog, http://www.GetALifeMinistries.blogspot.com Additionally, Her media kit is available for review at http://www.BringItOnCommunications.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6405288
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