Saving My Marriage: How to Communicate the 4 Kinds of Like

Marriage Success Factors and Band Analogy

Why do some fantastic marriages and some music bands break-up? Both band members and married couples can make incredible music together, at first. For married couples, making-music together relates to the metaphorical adage, “they sure do make gorgeous music together.” The creativity produced from just one dynamic pairing of creative and caring partners can produce volumes of gorgeous music that fills the air with the full range of emotions, rhythm, (heart) beat, and harmony (metaphorically speaking). Truth is, many marriage relationships at first have the same gorgeous dynamic as a duet group.
The similarity between a successful long-running marriage and a successful long-running music band (of any genre) is that the continued meshing of sound, emotions, and individual personalities require trust, communication, cooperation, and creativity. These qualities complement each other because they can be used to be a part of a shared vision. This shared vision between marriage partners can give be a driving force for stability and relationship in the marriage. That is how some music bands and marriages alike are classic, timeless, and still “grooving together” after all these years!

But, you have found this article because you are in search of answers to one of the deepest of emotional questions a person can question themselves, “Why is my marriage breaking-up, and what can I do to save it?”

Saving My Marriage By Determining What Went Incorrect

If the gorgeous music made by you and your spouse is fading, then something must have happened between the honeymoon and the marriage relationship’s last devastating issue that has caused it to be in a crisis. The point here is that a marriage relationship is most often effected by negative pressures that either make the two marriage partners bond closer together or drift further apart. The negative effects that are an indication that both of you are drifting further apart are: the feeling that the marriage is no longer exciting, safe to be in, or worth the effort anymore.

To save your marriage, you must identify the negative pressures on the relationship and deal with them appropriately. It is vital to do this because these pressures, whether they are work, child rearing, financial problems, cheating, and / or family upbringing differences can be the causes of the marriage problems. Dealing with these marriage pressures at the first opportunity is the first step to solving marriage problems.

Take the Time to Communicate Together

Taking the opportunity to work through one or many of these marriage pressures requires setting aside the time to communicate. Making the time to communicate together to work on resolving marriage pressures can itself be a way of restoring your marriage relationship.

Know and Use All Four Greek Classifications for Like in Your Marriage

While you take time to communicate about resolving the pressures that are negatively effecting your marriage relationship, you can also use it as an opportunity to show the four different types of like. The four types of like were first classified by the ancient Greeks. The four types of like showcased in this article are the qualities that complement each other to build an equality and honor based marriage that is healthy and mutually beneficial. Such a marriage fosters the building of a shared vision that helps save the relationship from divorce. Such marriages are aptly capable of making gorgeous music between the marriage partners.

Agape

“Agape means “like” (unconditional like) in modern-day Greek, such as in the term s’agapo, which means “I like you”. In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of “right like” rather than the attraction suggested by “eros“. Agape is used in the biblical passage known as the “like chapter”, 1 Corinthians 13, and is described there and throughout the New Testament as sacrificial like. Agape is also used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a excellent meal, one’s children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard” (Wikipedia: Greek Words for Like).

In order to have a healthy relationship with your spouse again, be open to as many opportunities to show like acts for your partner in a self-sacrificing manner. Furthermore, these displays of like become most beneficial to the marriage relationship when they are exhibited based on the concept of Agape like. Becoming familiar with the use of self-sacrificial like in your relationship will help you to perfect the other three forms of like discussed in this article in your marriage saving efforts. The purpose of framing all of your like efforts in a self-sacrificing manner is that doing so lends itself to a better-bonded marriage relationship.

A few thoughts that you can use to show self-sacrificing like are: deciding to take any offense against yourself on the part of your spouse as an opportunity to replace your defensive reaction with an unconditionally patient request to find out why the spouse feels as such about you, forgiving said offense right-away, giving-up something that you like, in favor of doing what your spouse prefers to do, and especially deciding to focus on the needs of your spouse when your own needs could be focused on or demanded. Agape like is the key to making “gorgeous music” together.

Eros

“Eros is passionate like, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word “erotas” means “intimate like;” but, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a like for someone whom you like more than the philia, like of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage” (Wikipedia: Greek Words for Like).

A few thoughts that you can use to show erotic like in a self-sacrificing manner are: whispering sentimental words of erotic like that your spouse will appreciate, whispering erotic thoughts that you already know interest your spouse, taking opportunities to lovingly touch your spouse in a way that arouses your spouse’s sensual pleasure, preparing a romantic environment in a way that your spouse can appreciate, and being open to work out any problems that prevent the sexual fulfillment of your spouse.

Working on eros like with your spouse in a self-sacrificing manner will not only work wonders to help your spouse reunite with you in your marriage relationship, it will cultivate the desire within your spouse to like you with a self-sacrificing Eros like as well. Self-Sacrificing Eros like is the way to make gorgeous “physical music” together.

Philia

“Philia means friendship or brotherly like in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous like, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of like, used for like between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers” (Wikipedia: Greek Words for Like).

A few thoughts that you can use to show philia like in a self-sacrificing manner are: find bonding activities that your spouse enjoys and being open to delight in the activity personally (you can simply use this thought as an opportunity to just spend time with your spouse), engaging in open-finished communication of a confidential manner with your spouse, and then building trust through keeping said confidence with your spouse.

The reciprocal nature of self-sacrificing philia like will build the trust within your marriage relationship that will encourage your spouse to act in a self-sacrificing manner toward building a bond with you. That type of friendship within your marriage relationship is the way to make gorgeous “relational music” together.

Storge

“Storge means “affection” in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then nearly exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in “loving” the tyrant” (Wikipedia: Greek Words for Like).

A few thoughts that you can use to show storge like in a self-sacrificing manner are: If you and your spouse do not have kids together, then you could pop popcorn on a rainy day and watch a movie that your spouse would delight in, do Saturday morning choirs together, and make dinner together. If you and your spouse do have kids together, then you could go to the park and have fun together, share words of affirmation for each other and fun personal tales together throughout the day, play family fun games together, engage in family tickle sessions, and indulge in weekend vacations together in a place the whole family will delight in.

These forms of self-sacrificing displays of like together will build the unity, bonding, friendship, trust, and respect for one another necessary in a healthy and functional family. The full-circle nature of family bonding ensures that “gorgeous family” songs can be sung, for generations, as an enduring legacy of family like.

You can gain more of an understanding of each of the four Greek words for like, cited above, that can also be used for saving a marriage from Wikipedia at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love, in order to help you even have a greater understanding of the possible opportunities you can have to save your marriage.

Conclusion

You do not need to speak Greek in order to make the proverbial “gorgeous music together” that will save marriage dreams from dying through the four Greek words for like. Determine the causes of the negative stresses in your marriage, in order to solve them through communication, then know the four Greek words for like. Most importantly, take the meanings of each of the Greek words for like and place them into practice in fun and creative ways. This will cultivate a marriage and family life of mutual like that is based on the honor principles of “agape self-sacrifice” that can prevent or stop divorce.

“James Hess writes about marriage restoration and relationship building. Visit James and his wife’s site at http://www.keepmarriagealive.com we are dedicated to helping as many marriages as possible to be made stronger by helping married couples learn marriage saving cures, passion building tips and advice.” Click Saving My Marriage to get your Free “Rescue Relationship Report”
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6370118
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