How Jake Missed Two Important Signs That His Wife Was Having an Affair

My friends, let's call them Jake and Molly, were your typical happy power couple. Both had very successful careers in the banking industry. When it was time to start a family, they decided that Jake would stay home with the children. Jake was a great guy. He was smart, successful and he was very good with the children. He was that "perfect parent" that we all know and envy. He always made time to volunteer with the school PTA or the latest fundraiser. Always setting up play dates for the kids. He was always driving the kids to ballet, music lessons and baseball games. He was always in control; the hectic pace never fazed him. Molly was a wonderful person. She was very nice, she loved to laugh and was very appreciative of Jake. It appeared they had the perfect life.
After their third child arrived things began to change. Molly started to criticize Jake over little things. If he forgot the diaper bag in the car or if he did not wash that particular outfit for their son to wear, he would be criticized by Molly. When we were in their company it would sometimes be very uncomfortable. When I asked Jake about the situation he said he thought it was just stress from Molly's work. Over time the criticism became more frequent over the tiniest of issues.

This is the first important sign that Jake missed.

When a partner is having an affair they begin to demonize their existing partner. This is to help justify why they are having an affair. Criticism over the tiniest of issues that were not a problem in the past is an important sign that may indicate an affair. Jake wrote it off in his mind as stress from the workplace. In many cases, temporary work insanity can create stress and cause a person to lash out at their partners and family. However, if the criticism starts to go into a spiral of "you cannot do anything right", then it is time to dig deeper into the situation.

Shortly after the criticisms from Molly seem to be constant, he noticed Molly's interest in her wardrobe specifically, lingerie. Molly would spend time looking at web sites and on-line catalogs of lingerie. Molly was not a prude and did where sexy outfits to bed in the past, but Jake felt that her sudden interest in buying new lingerie was odd. Molly did travel in her job and she would say that she wanted want new lingerie as she felt embarrassed when airport security would look in her bag. Jake accepted this reason as he trusted Molly and could understand he feelings of possible embarrassment.

The is the second (and last) important sign that Jake missed.

After a business trip Molly returned home to announce that she was leaving Jake. She had been having an affair with a colleague from work and has decided to move in with him.

Jake was devastated. To make matters worse, Molly started an aggressive campaign to divorce Jake and to leave him with nothing. She hired a team of lawyers to attack Jake with such vengeance that he could not afford to defend himself. After being out of the workforce for over 10 years, Jake was able to get a job and now lives in an apartment with his kids.

You have the right to protect yourself. Learn the signs a spouse is cheating and then have a plan to uncover the truth. It is better to investigate and find nothing instead of ignoring the signs and become a victim. No one deserves to be treated like Jake. Take control off the situation and you will emerge stronger and be able to deal with a possible new direction for your life.

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