I always believe that loving someone is a magical thing to happen. Sometimes, we are too old-fogy that we could not relate what love really is. We always credit the account to the children who are used in to-make-believe-story. The word love is not very complex that we could not comprehend. Love is something that when we keep thinking of it, we keep smiling, and if you are not busy the whole day you can keep yourself busy smiling. No one is afraid of love, it won't bite you and it will never offend you.
Interestingly, love is something we cannot deny when we feel it in the exact moment, when momentum seems to be so loud and when time seems stopping. The worlds appear to collide and you are in a deep confusion...
You found yourself in a deep trouble but you were there with a smile buried on your lips.
It always feels that when you're in-love you always have to be at your best. Whether it is wearing clothes or acting according to behavior. Now, we seem to be found wanting most of the time but we are humans and this time we are confused. You may think that you are on a stage for a show; basically you want to please everybody. Yet we learn one important thing after we step down on the stage, people didn't expect us to be the best, they expect us to be there wearing our best-so just don't quit.
As time may be inevitable and unceasing, but for homo-sapiens who is accustom in being in-love and loved, it is always short and never forever. Looking back to the reality, love may not always prevail and no one expects so. There are people too busy squandering their time and effort to nonsense activities. There are countless ironic things human may find if we will try to look for it, and the best part of it, there are those who are too busy creating destructive weapons for human distinction.
Love may never be always part of the story but it is always part of the solution...
A reality bite, the world as we know is plagued by temptations. It's true, but the moment we come to our senses, we may conclude that temptations are supposed to be there because the nature of love cannot be so exciting without it. Do you agree? You might find it amusing thought but for the benefit of the doubt you might think about it.
Have you heard the phrase, "love is blind?" Majority have. When someone says, "love is blind?" If love is blind, one may argue to facilitate the meaning that love is eternal, regardless of one's faults, their lies, and their affairs; that regardless of any negative outcome that love overlooks it. If love is blind it can prevail all evil. However, everyone may not agree that, "love is blind.
Your relationship has become progressively boring in the sense that the excitement has diminished with time and it is now only a distant memory. You are not unhappy in the relationship but you are vaguely dissatisfied and you sorely miss the excitement and spark that you once had. Is it possible to get the spark back into your relationship? What do you need to do to get the spark back into your relationship?
I. Do the things that you used to do. When you had the spark and excitement in your relationship what deeds did you used to do for your partner? Did you spend hours talking with your partner about everything and nothing? Where you intensely interested in everything that concerned them? Did you actively and deliberately make time to hang out with them? Did you constantly look for interesting gifts and tokens for them? Did you do things for them that you knew they would enjoy? Think back and remember the specifics that you did and start doing those things that brought your partner joy and made them know they were loved by you; and you will reignite the spark back in your relationship.
II. Appreciate your partner constantly. No one can resist genuine appreciation and admiration and if you want your partner to grow alive again then give them the ammunition to do so by having a grateful heart and attitude toward them. Acknowledge today that your partner is great and they have some great character traits and they do some things wonderfully. And let them know often how great they really are but don't do it if it is not true. Observe what your partner does well and appreciate that. Let your partner know in clear and concise terms exactly what it is that you appreciate about their character and their behavior. Appreciate them whenever they display the character or behavior that you love and appreciate. Your speech needs to build up your partner and the more appreciated and loved they feel then they will reciprocate with time; and you will get the spark back in your relationship.
III. Love your partner practically! Your relationship has changed and so has your partner and you need to understand how you can love them practically today. Are they overwhelmed at work or stressed out by life? What can you do practically to make life easier for them? Do you understand your partner' love language? What things or deeds make them feel loved? Find a way to learn your partner's love language and then talk that language. When your partner begins to feel loved they will naturally be more loving to you; and you will get the spark back in your relationship.
You will need an attitude change in order to do the work required to get the spark back in your relationship.
You know that awkward moment when he says he loves you and unfortunately you don't feel the same way? You get tongue-tied and overwhelmed by feelings of confusion as you look for a way out of the moment without embarrassing or hurting yourself and him. Is there a way to react that would leave you both unscathed? What should you do when told 'I love you' and you don't feel the same way?
a. Make eye contact and ignore the 'I love you' statement! Since you don't feel the same way as he does you want to let him down gently without hurting him and ruining your friendship. You should maintain eye contact so that he understands that you have heard him but that this is not a path that you want to walk on. You can even nod in acknowledgment that you have understood and heard him but instead of talking about it you should instead go on to another totally unrelated topic. The problem with this response is he may think that you feel the same way but you just don't want to admit it or talk about it. This is especially true if he just doesn't want to face the reality of the fact that you don't love him. He can continue deluding himself as you did not say anything definite.
b. Tell him right of that you like him only as a friend. This requires a little more courage than the 1st option because he is more likely to be offended by a direct response. When he says 'I love you' then you can tell him that you appreciate him and like him as a friend but nothing else. And you have to be absolutely clear that you do not love him. He may try to talk you into loving him and you have to know for certain that you do not love him otherwise you will leave a door open in his mind and that can be a source of future friction for both of you. Don't be rude or nasty but say your piece in words and in a tone that is kind and understanding. If he gets angry with your reply remain calm and understanding as his ego may be more injured than you imagined or thought. Remain calm as you have no reason to be upset and you shouldn't let him bait you with his anger.
c. Let him know you have heard him and you are thinking about it. If you are not sure about how you really feel about him then this is the best option. Maybe he is your friend or colleague and you have just never thought about him romantically so his declaration catches you off-guard. Let him know that you appreciate his honesty but you don't really know how you feel about what he has said and ask him for time to sort out your feelings. Let him know that what he has said has surprised you and you need time to absorb what he has said and determine how you feel. Give him a time frame of when you can give him a truthful response. And be honest with yourself so that you don't just say 'I love you' back to him just so that you are not alone. Say it only if you really mean it and he is someone you could be in relationship with.
Being told 'I love you' by someone who you do not love can be very disconcerting but if you handle yourself with honesty and decorum then you can get through it with minimal damages to him and your relationship. But if he is an immature and self absorbed man then regardless of how you react the relationship will be affected detrimentally and there is nothing that you can do.
When one hears the word cheating typically one's mind equates it with relationships, marriages (i.e. spouses), and folk stepping out. It is also connected to somebody doing somebody else wrong rather than the associations of illegalities in regards to the law. One can also couple cheating with lying, tricking someone, deception and the act of imposition. There are websites on how to retaliate on cheaters, discussions on talk shows on how to survive cheating; with experts on both sides of the fence teaching forgiveness and harmonious relationships after the act has occurred. One could spend all day just breaking down the terms and thought processes around cheating and its affects and effects. Yet today, I want to cut through the chase and look at it from a spiritual perspective.
It is with clarity and understanding that we live within the confines and construct of rules in regards to relationships; and many theories and thought processes are based on culture, environment, societal relationships and or norms. To peruse generational components in history deemed that one family was given the direction to begin the population of the earth (Adam and Eve). So basically there was quite a bit of co-mingling in regards to familial relationships present. Eventually as time moved along, the earth became populated. Kings had their pick of wives; however I'm sure no one notified the Shulammite wife that she was probably 610 on a scale of almost 1,000. Or it is quite possible she was aware because of time she lived in? It might have even been acceptable to her she wasn't the only one; and it could be Solomon's game was so tight that she was a lost cause on the first few words out of his mouth. In those times women learned to share, while men conquered in war, territorial possessions and at the home front. For the history of my people; our women were impregnated for the sake of propagating slave labor and raped for the pleasure of men who power tripped and had no consideration for men or women whose blood color that ran through their veins was of the same color as their own.
The reality is cheating is truly an act of selfish desire. I realize that studies show that men think about sex every 5-7 seconds and clearly we live in a world where according to societal norms cheating is normal. However, based upon God's concept it is not. Whether a man had two or three wives and concubines, he was still required to stay within that relationship. Leviticus 20 speaks of both parties, the man and the woman being put to death - this was under the law. There are many scriptures that speak to the actions of cheating and the consequences. So with an understanding, one might begin to approach the thought process of actions and consequences and the affect and effects of the marriage and community structure. We can no longer just accept that men cheat; for now women have now begun to roll just like the men. Some do it for lack of affection, while others do it for the love of sex. Regardless of the why's it truly is a lack of discipline on either party's part. See the first time might be hard for one's conscious and heart allows one to feel remorse, but in reality the second time around it becomes easier and a continuation of sequential actions now makes cheating "normal".
Rarely does the cheater look at the people that are hurt in the process and seldom do they truly process the outcome. Most men are apt to think if they get caught they will be forgiven or "it's no big deal, everyone does it", "it's part of life". There is no fear of the consequence or more so God himself. When one lacks a true relationship with the Almighty; the consideration of where He stands in view of one's life has little affect in the assumption of carrying out sinful desires. Or one is quick to say, "God will forgive me". Yet I want you to think about this, what if God chose to take your life in the process? What if you lost your wife or relationship? What if life-threatening diseases are incurred based on that very last act of cheating? See we as responsible people must begin to look at the end of a matter before we embark on the beginning of a matter. Learn to look down the length of time and make decisions accordingly. Learn to make healthier non-selfish decisions.
My divorce was a product of continual cheating. Apparently, he chose (the ex) to make decisions based on his own personal thought process. However, I am not responsible for his actions; I was and am only responsible for mine. Clearly he thought that his continual cheating would only produce an outcome of forgiveness and life would go on. However, one episode became the final act that was forgivable; but required I take action to release him out of my life in regards to our marriage. So it is with understanding that I can share the effects of spouses that cheat. Those sequential and non-conformable acts forever changed the life of me and my children. I can share this with you with no hint of malice or bitterness. Yet it is with clarity that I state cheating ALWAYS touches someone's life. Many people around town knew my story when the details became available, yet they do not know me. Even now, every once in a while I come across someone who is aware of the effects but not the affects because they don't know me personally. I am healed...now...but back then there was a sense of not having anywhere to hide or dwell from prying eyes and people who made a choice to be just plain out right inquisitive...excuse me I mean nosy...lol. There is no shadow of doubt in my mind that God became my sustainer of my life but more so my mind. There were days I walked around in constant pain, and felt that everyone I encountered could see through me; and often I had a sense of rawness that exuded within my spirit for I truly thought others had the ability to see my various pains. Even now it is hard to explain, I guess I might equate it to your skin being raw, like someone had scrapped the skin with a knife until all you see is shredded meat (flesh), tendons, veins and cartilage. Bro/Sis, I was one shattered soul. Oh, I thank God for His comforting arms as He taught me to stand and become resilient at all costs.
I believe that every time you choose to act out of selfishness and make a decision to sin, you open up spiritual doors in your life. Even when you supposedly "fall" into a situation, you have given the enemy a legal right to have access in your life. Now I am aware that for some people they truly do not care. But today I want to speak to your spirit man. See the problem with the enemy attacking our lives is he is quite aware of whom each of us is and what we are supposed to be in Christ. Hence, he knows his access to our lives is based on our past, immediate and future actions; and if he can keep us in the dark we never truly reach the goals that God has set for us.
See your life is not just about obtaining your goals, but more so the relationship with God directly. It was and still is His desire for each of us to imitate Him. Mind you none of us is perfect nor will we ever reach perfection; however we do strive for it...(and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe (1 Timothy 4:10)...So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man (Acts 24:16) I can hear someone now....but I can't stop, that is because every door you have opened has opened another door, every time you have given the enemy access through the act of sex, more behaviors and thought processes and attacks (from satan) become more accessible; and you need to go through a process of spiritual deliverance. It might not be easy, BUT it can be done. Begin today by asking God for assistance and share with Him in prayer (communication) your true heart's desire; and ask Him for a change in lifestyle. Because man (woman) is a triune spirit then all that we do and act upon affects our body, soul and spirit. Learn to look for spiritual food, feed your soul and spirit and God will help you control your mind which translates to your eyes and actions.
Lord we ask with that everyone who is reading this right now become of aware of the issues in their life that they need assistance. We ask that you give them a spirit of forgiveness towards those that cheated on them and a spirit of repentance for those who have perpetrated the acts. In your word you told us that if we ask it shall be given to us and if we have faith as the grain of a mustard seed, our faith will grow. I ask that this word be planted on good ground and ask that you send someone else in each person's life to water it and assist in their growth in You. I speak deliverance to every spirit that binds and hinders in Jesus name and ask that you send not only spiritual guidance but your ministering angels to stand for every attack that might come their way. To every spirit of torment, I send peace, to every generational curse in regards to cheating and unclean spirits; I send joy, clarity and speak release. We ask these things in Your name. Amen.
Go in peace and I speak peace and blessings into YOUR life.
As a young girl, I aspired to grow up and be this super sharp, well put-together professional female. Of course I had multiple career dreams where I would wear these high-powered, sleek business suits. They would look just as hot as the career women on The Young & the Restless. I would get them from Spiegel Catalog or Neiman Marcus. And I would look highly sophisticated and important. I never anticipated having a job where I home office the majority of the time and the weekends would be my chance to take my dressing up a notch. But that is exactly what happened. Weekends are my time to get out and about, the same as most people.
Anything is possible on the weekend, so why wouldn't you try to look the best you can just because you're not headed to the boardroom or the club! There is nothing worse than a really bad weekend wardrobe, so here are three ways to make sure your weekend wear is working.
Make the investment. Don't opt for old, torn-up jeans and freebie tees. Even though most of us are looking forward to our days off, and it's not a requirement that we wear stuffy business attire, why not be comfortable and current? Summertime gives you the opportunity to wear breezy summer dresses and cute little sandals. Winter is the time to wear form-flattering sweaters and jeans that hug in all the right places. It's worth the money to feel and look good.
Make the effort. Anything is possible over the weekend. You can see anyone and end up doing any number of things. When you're out shopping and lunching with your girls at some hot little spot, you're most likely to run into other people you know who want to be at that same hot lunch spot. So don't get caught out there slipping. Maybe your makeup is just lipgloss and mascara. Perhaps your hair isn't as coiffed as it is Monday thru Friday. But you still look fresh and put together.
Express your true self. Your weekends are your time. You don't have to dress for some company or client. You can dress for yourself. When we feel good we look good. Don't take that for granted. Have fun with your wardrobe and take opportunities to do things you wouldn't do in your work place.
In a woman's crazy world of work, fun, family and everything else, weekends are the highlight of the week. Make sure you greet them in style.
